I was shocked to see my husband wearing the sexiest underwear that I own

DEAR DEIDRE: OPENING my bedroom door, I got the shock of my life to see my husband wearing just my sexiest knickers and admiring himself in the full-length mirror.

Does this mean he wants to have sex with other men, or with me while he’s wearing my underwear?

After letting out a loud gasp, I walked straight back out, as I wasn’t sure how to react.

I am so hurt, angry and disappointed. I feel disgusted especially as either of our daughters could have seen him instead of me.

I am 53 and my husband is 55. We have been married for 24 years and have two daughters aged 20 and 18.

He’s a decent man and our girls couldn’t wish for a better father so I can’t understand why he’s doing this.

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I am worried he could be having an affair.

I don’t think he would but our sex life hasn’t been great for a while — I am menopausal and he can’t always get a full erection.

Then when he does he can’t keep it for long but he won’t see the doctor.

We have tried various things, such as me dressing in sexy lingerie, and watching porn together.

It does help but it’s still a problem.

He knows what I saw in the bedroom and yet he’s hardly spoken to me since.

It’s as if he thinks that if he ignores it, it will go away.

I guess some women would be able to take this in their stride, but it has completely floored me.

I don’t know how to broach the subject. I did ask why he put on my knickers and he said: “They were lying around so why not?”

I’m not sure how we can get over this.

READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s important to understand that lots of men find wearing women’s lingerie very comfortable.

It can also be a gentle way for him to connect with his feminine side and doesn’t have to cause a problem in your relationship.

Many men who crossdress are heterosexual.

This will be a deep-rooted aspect of his personality, not a rejection of you. Try to understand what it means to him.

My support pack on Cross-dressing will help you understand his needs and also explains specialist support.

There may be an underlying medical reason why your husband can’t get an erection so do urge him to see his GP.

My support pack Solving Erection Problems explains more.

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